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Дара е Лабрадор и е на 50 дни. Дара е спокойно и бързо схващащо куче, типично за породата и като изключим обичайните надрани и изпохапани неща, докато се учим, не мога да кажа, че се гледа трудно. За две седмици я научихме да се изхожда навън и единствено през нощта се случва да се изпусне на плочките, които после дезинфекцираме с всичката позната домакинска химия.
Трябва да е чисто, защото Дара живее с още две момичета, на 5 и 2 години. Човеци са, двегодишната още ходи с памперси и само, който не е гледал деца, не може да разбере какви неща се налага да чистим понякога. Накъсаните книги и сдъвканите зарядни ги прежалих, прежалих и среднощните ставания, защото съм свикнал и вече съм като войн масай. Масаите се славят с това, че са в състояние да преминат в пълна бойна готовност от най-дълбок сън, та и аз така. И всичко покрай кучето и моето семейство беше натрапчиво семейно клише, което не заслужава ничий интерес, а всяко споделяне би заприличало на хленчене и търсене на внимание. Всичко това до днес. Днес животното надмина всички истории с домашни любимци, които съм виждал, чувал или са били плод на силно хиперболизиран сюжет.
Сутринта жена ми тръгнала да сменя памперса на малката и докато я мила с душа, хвърлила завития памперс на пода в банята, уж за малко. Дара – кучката му с кучка мръсна, да вземе да се шмугне и в суматохата, да отнесе доволно препълнената пелена в детската стая, където на спокойствие си я отворила със зъби и също както човешките деца нетърпеливо разопаковат Киндер Сюрприз, разопаковала зловонното съдържание по килима. Почнало се мятане, ръфане, ЯДЕНЕ и разнасяне из цялата стая. Играта минала през коридора и приключила във всекидневната, където жена ми с опулени и невярващи очи видяла разпарцаливеното бяло-кафяво нещо да виси от устата на кучето. „Не! Не, не , не може да е това, което си мисля. Това е сън!“ – казала си и се спуснала да дърпа нещото от пастта на малкия бял демон. А малкият бял демон хукнал обратно към детската, за да скрие пълната с протеини, калций и пр. елементи плячка (детето още пие бъкано с полезни вещества адаптирано мляко) и там, о, там! Там смешното свършва, без изобщо да е започвало. Целият килим – в малки, шибани, лайняни кучешки лапички, недодъвкано и изплюто в коридора, а памперсът – изморен и разтворен, лежи на килима. Ужас! Ужас! Ужас!
След като се ощипала, за да се увери, че това не е кошмар, жена ми приседнала и захлипала, а кучето въртяло енергично опашка и гордо я гледало, облизвайки „шоколадовата“ си муцуна. После почнало чистенето и къпането, но милата ми жена решила да снима местопрестъплението, защото си мислела, че отново ще и кажа как драматизира излишно, без да я поглеждам и докато скролвам таймлайна в Туитър, легнал на дивана. Тоя път много и съчувствам, ама много, ей! И така, вижте снимките, докато аз нося килимите за пране. Предупреждавам – следват силно гнусни кадри!